The Garden of Roses: Stories of Abuse and Healing

Mary Ann said,  “It’s not that people don’t care.  They do care, but the issue is so intimidating.  They don’t know what to do, so they don’t do anything.” Mary Ann is the Executive Director of Heart of Grant County, the local agency that supports for survivors of domestic violence in Grant County, Oregon.  Since the county has fewer than 8,000 residents in an area twice the size of Delaware, Heart of Grant County also advocates for survivors of other forms of abuse. Mary Ann went on, inspired for her passion for supporting victims. “”When the Aryan Nations wanted to set up a headquarters in Grant County, people joined a coalition to stop hate crimes and came out and marched and rallied against the Aryan Nations.  Hate crimes are a good cause to rally against, but violence against women and children is a much bigger problem in Grant County than hate crimes. Unfortunately it is really challenging to rally people to come out and march against violence against wom...

January is a survivor of child sex abuse. She joined us on the Walk with the Homeless and is joining us on the Walk Across Oregon to End Abuse and Heal the wounds in Garibaldi Oregon.  She will be volunteering with Compassionate Gathering. Look for her posts on our  Facebook site   , Twitter Account and here at the Garden of Roses blog. January's parents were heroin addicts. Her father abused her repeatedly until she became a ward of the state of Oregon.  She was emancipated at age 18. January says that when she was younger she created chaos around her because how she only knew how to survive in chaotic environments. However, for the last 8 years she has been working on spiritual healing with a counselor who offered her services for free. January has a lot of positive energy, and we are grateful for her help. The rest of this blog is a collection of poems and reflections by January as well as a quote that appealed to her.        ...

There are walks and races to cure breast cancer and diabetes and a Walk for Animals to raise money for the humane society. There are even walks to raise money for homeless shelters, but I don’t know of any walks to draw attention to the connection between abuse and homelessness. So I decided to create one. I learned about this connection from Siggy, a man abused by the priest who baptized me Catholic. Siggy was a teenager when the priest chased him down and assaulted him repeatedly. Siggy reported the abuse. No one believed him. The lack of support and belief is almost as wounding as abuse is itself. Although he managed to earn a college degree, Siggy’s struggles with depression were too deep for him to maintain a job. Sadness would overcome him, and he’d walk off a job and lose it. When I knew him, Siggy survived by working odd jobs and, as he put it, by surfing the couches belonging to family and friends. I met Siggy after he had come forward for the fifth time 20 odd ...

Changing my dressing Physical Therapy exercises I am still moving forward. I am in chronic pain but at least my elbow moves some and with Physical Therapy, I am gaining a little more movement every day. The surgeon essentially inserted a metal hinge into my arm. The uncomfortable part is that I can feel that hinge. It moves around and sometimes hurts. I have always been a supporter of universal healthcare. Now I am living to reasons for supporting Universal Healthcare. The surgery cost $42,000. A trip to the emergency room would have been much cheaper. I am still working on a Walk with the Homeless to take place in July. Street Roots, the newspaper written by homeless and formerly homeless people is supporting the Walk. Many people who suffer abuse end up homeless because their struggles with drugs and alcohol or depression and troubles with relationship skills make it difficult for them to maintain jobs. I've met many homeless survivors of abuse on the Walk Acro...

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want ..... although I am very much in want of healthcare right now, and I worry about being in want of housing soon because of my need for healthcare. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.... Does that mean the Waterfront Park along the Willamette River where I see so many homeless people lying when the weather is halfway warm? He restores my soul... I used to garden to heal my wounded spirit, but now I have a broken arm that needs surgery, and I can’t do much in the garden but pull weeds with my left hand. He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake..... I am trying to give my children the best life I can with one arm. I still listen to abuse survivors’ stories over the phone and in person. I haven’t numbed myself with drink or drugs, but my mind is too full of worries at night to sleep so I listen to a meditation tape to guide my thoughts to healing. Even though I walk through the V...

I was drinking my morning green tea one day last week and perusing The Oregonian when my eyes fell upon the headline about House Bill 2183, “Oregon House passes bill outlawing purposely false child abuse claims”. “Huh,” I said to myself, “It needs to be easier to report child abuse, not harder.” I am the Executive Director of Compassionate Gathering, a budding not-for-profit that works to end abuse and heal the wounds in individuals and communities.  I guard our not-for-profit status zealously, so I don’t do political advocacy, but this law is so bad I had to speak out against it.  Each of the last three summers members and friends of Compassionate Gathering have walked through towns and on scenic trails from one side of Oregon to the other.  Local media usually covers our Walks (except in Portland), and people come to meet us and share their stories with us.  We’ve met frantic grandmothers and babysitting family friends trying to protect children from abusive par...

If there is good news, it is that my dear friends keep driving me to clinics for appointments for my broken arm as well as to the grocery store and the Post Office and Church.  One dear friend helping me is Elizabeth, my clergy abuse survivor partner.  The other two are Church ladies from Ascension -- Helen, who organizes the Spaghetti Dinner every year, and Mary Lou who serves as a lector, Eucharistic Minister, Sunday School Teacher (catechist) and a few other assorted Church volunteer duties.  I posted this on Facebook and a clergy abuse survivor commented that they should challenge the Church on it's faulty priests.  Actually my friends do this too -- through diplomatic private letters to the Archbishop, to priests and parishioners in public forums, and in private.  These are my stalwart friends who have stood by me for years -- when I handed out articles on clergy abuse, when I got thrown out of Church for handing out articles on clergy abuse, when we set up...