The Garden of Roses: Stories of Abuse and Healing

Monday, August 3, 2009 Walk Across Pendleton Moonrise Over Pendleton The East Oregonian , Pendleton’s newspaper, carried a nice article on me on Friday, July 31, but also referred people to contact the local Domestic Violence Services in Pendleton and Hermiston.  I was very happy about that.  I am overloaded as is.  I can't support many more survivors than I already do.  I want people to access local services.  I want to raise awareness about the issue.  I want to present some new ideas about healing, but most of all I want to help survivors come forward in safety to people who can help them. The response to the East Oregonian article was very positive.  One person e-mailed the newspaper thanking me for telling my story about my own child sex abuse.  Another thanked me for bringing up the issue of clergy abuse and the need to know and do more for survivors. Both mornings in Pendleton we ate a continental breakfast at o...

by Virginia Jones The reporter from the Wallowa County Chieftain was skeptical. “You mean to tell me that you drive places and get out and walk?”  “Yes,” I tried to explain, “We tried walking almost every step of the way in 2008, and found ourselves spending lots of time communing with wild turkeys.  This is not a march or a political statement. We walk to talk to people to raise awareness and support survivors coming forward.  We reach more people by walking through towns and scenic trails.” The reporter was not impressed, and the Wallowa County Chieftain did not cover the Walk Across Oregon when we passed through the Wallowa Valley in 2009. I always end up having to explain myself.  My approach to organizing the Walk seems new to people.  The Walk is not the usual race or run/walk fundraiser.  Nor is it a demonstration or political statement.  My hope is to never have a large group of runners or walkers, but to have multiple small gr...

This is reprinted from my website from 2008.  Joan's name is June. I will call her Joan.  She has to remain anonymous.  Joan wanted to do something to stop child sex abuse and support survivors.  Her children were abused.  They came forward after age thirty -- too late to file criminal charges for abuse.  Twenty years after the abuse ended to file a civil lawsuit, they were still too frightened by their abuser  There was no justice, no recourse, no support from an indifferent society. (Did I keep my children anonymous enough?  It seems as though I eliminated their heads and their helmets are floating on air.) Joan thought that if only the statute of limitations on criminal prosecution of child sex abuse could be eliminated, then her children could have justice and be confidant that the man who abused them would never abuse anyone else again.  So Joan went on a one woman campaign of knocking on doors, writing to...

This is a rerun from November 2010 Every Person is Sacred:   Part Two of Screening Hand of God in Portland, Oregon The conventional wisdom has been that survivors of Catholic clergy abuse could only rely on other survivors for support and belief, so we worried what would happen when we brought survivors together with other Catholics and members of the community for the screening of the film on clergy abuse, Hand of God, in September 2007.   We found that the conventional wisdom was wrong.   Not only could we come together without wounding each other, together we experienced spiritual healing and transformation. On that Saturday in late September 2007, we experienced the sanctity of the community.   We also experienced the sanctity of each individual present.   Each person who came, brought their own special gift. Paul Cultrera, the subject of Hand of God , and his brother Joe, who directed the film came to Portland just for the screening. ...

by Virginia Pickles Jones I was baptized Catholic in 2001, by a dynamic priest who was removed 11 months later because he abused boys.  These events caused me to look closely at how the Catholic Church handled abuses inside the Church as well as to look closely at the abuses I experienced as a child and young adult.  I concluded that the Church needed to do more to care for survivors of clergy abuse.  After discovering that other Catholics were often unable to listen compassionately to the stories told by survivors, I learned the spiritual discipline of Compassionate Listening from The Compassionate Listening Project and Eryn Kalish of Workplace Solutions. The first time I brought other Catholics together to listen compassionately to a survivor of clergy abuse was the first Sunday of January 2007.  We met in my living room and listened to Elizabeth Goeke tell her story of being assaulted by a priest when she was a young nun.  Then she listened as we pa...