The Garden of Roses: Stories of Abuse and Healing

I read what others are writing about the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI; sometimes with interest, sometimes with eyes glazed over from reading the same thing being said over and over.  Two articles, however, caught my attention -- one New York Times op-ed written by Jason Berry and one about Paolo Gabrielle, the pope’s butler.  Thank you to Abuse Tracker for posting one article and Frank Douglas for drawing my attention to the other. First, Jason Berry, who is very well researched, wrote about a detail that should be well known but had not been catalogued in my brain before.  In his New York Times op-ed he wrote about Cardinal Sodano.  Apparently Pope Benedict XVI, when he was still Cardinal Ratzinger, wanted to investigate Marcel Maciel, the founder of the Legionnaire's of Christ and legendary, chronic abuser of boys and women and girls and men.  Cardinal Sodano pressured Pope John Paul II to end this investigation, and he did.  The former ...

In January 2007, I went on retreat with The Compassionate Listening Project, a not-for-profit that teaches the skill of Compassionate Listening as a peace building tool.  They got their start by working to heal the Jewish/Palestinian conflict. The facilitator said, “We are all our own worst terrorist.” This means that we repeat to ourselves other people’s criticisms of us over and over even more harshly than others do.  I have done this all my life, but just before I went on retreat, I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.  I had driven away a friend and co-worker, Pavel (not his real name) with my intense criticism of him and his work.  My criticisms contained truth, but most of us learn best from our own experiences.  Most of us don’t respond positively to criticism, particularly harsh criticism. When we repeatedly criticize people or express anger at them, we drive them away. So at this retreat I knew without hesitation which cr...

A friend of mine, who I will call Emily, lost her job when she was in her fifties.  It is hard to a job when you are a fifty plus year old woman.  Emily struggled with despair and hopelessness.  Her friend recommended that she visit a psychic she knew, suggesting the psychic might be able to give her some insight and comfort.  The friend gave her reason why.  She had gone to see the psychic herself.  She was sexually abused by her father, but she had not disclosed this fact in public.  The psychic instructed her sit with her in stillness and quiet while she meditated.   After a while the psychic began speaking.  She said, “I see your father.   He is in hell.   He has hurt many people.   I see him sitting in a chair.   He is surrounded by mirrors.   In every mirror he sees the pain he caused in other people.” So personnel files were made public and it was revealed that Cardinal Mahoney tried stren...