The Garden of Roses: Stories of Abuse and Healing

Please note that I deactivated links for organizations that I do not have specific permission for links, but you can still cut and paste addresses. National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Email: mainoffice@ncadv.org Hotlines:1.800.799.SAFE (7233) and 1.800.787.3224 (TTY) Website: http://www.ncadv.org domesticshelters.org https://www.domesticshelters.org   Find  a shelter anywhere in the country and access dozens, hundreds of articles on survivors stories and all aspects of coping with domestic violence. Some local Portland area resources for help for coping with domestic violence (all found on domesticshelters.org): The Gateway Center for Domestic Violence Services -- business phone: 503-988-6400 website: https://www.portlandoregon.gov/gatewaycenter/ Portland Women's Crisis Line -- hotline: 503-235-5333 website: http://pwcl.org VOA Home Free -- hotline: 503-771-5503 website: http://www.voaor.org/children-and-family Bradley Angle House  -- ...

I sat down in Barnes and Noble Cafe with my laptop, green tea and something chocolate to eat.  I thought I’d peruse The Oregonian and The New York Times online before working on a blog.  Well, I worked on a blog, this blog, but not the one I intended to work on. As I scrolled down through the “Opinion” section of The Oregonian , I found a piece on Jeanette Maples.  She is the 15-year-old girl who died at her home in Eugene, Oregon, on December 9, apparently tortured to death by her mother and stepfather. The abuse did not go unnoticed.  Jeanette’s mother sent her to Middle School in Eugene in ragged sweatpants and T-shirts.  Her classmates teased her, as Middle Schoolers are inclined to do to those who don’t fit in.  But for Jeanette, school was a haven because it offered her a respite from her mother’s abuse.  Her friends noticed that Jeanette was always hungry and that she had injuries on her body.  They pushed her for the truth, and...

A woman enters the house of Simon, the Pharisee, and washes Jesus’ feet with her tears and dries them with her hair while he dines.  Her story is told in the Gospel of Luke (7:36-50). Simon remarks to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who and what sort of woman is touching him, that she is a sinner.” Jesus hears Simon and rebukes him with a parable about two debtors owing money to the creditor.  The creditor forgives both debts.  Jesus asks Simon which debtor is more grateful.  Simon correctly understands that the debtor owing more money is more grateful.  The parable is normally understood to illustrate the power of God’s forgiveness of sin.  As a survivor of sexual abuse, I think there is an untold story in this Bible passage -- the story of Jesus’ feeling special compassion for the losses and pain endured by abuse survivors. Many people assume that the sinful woman is a prostitute.  Her sin of sex outside marriage makes her...

by Virginia Pickles I find metaphors for healing all around me.  Walking in nature slows me down and gives me time to contemplate and meditate.  The beauty of the place and the moment soothe me and uplift me.  One of the most inspiring places I love to walk near Portland, Oregon, is Smith and Bybee Lakes. More than two hundred years ago when Lewis and Clark and the Corp of Discovery paddled canoes by here on the Columbia River, there were no levies, no roads, no warehouses, no electrical lines -- just acres and acres of wetland.  The Columbia River flooded the seasonal lakes in winter.  By September, sun and summer drought left behind swaths of cracked mud along their edges.  Fish and Tree Frogs and the Western Painted Pond Turtles thrived in the virgin landscape.  Native grasses grew around the shores.  Rushes and sedges grew in the shallows.  Mule Deer and Pronghorn Antelope came to browse the grasses and brush and to sip water a...

I am a survivor of sex abuse as a child and date rape as a young adult.  My whole life has been occupied with coming to terms with these wounds and learning healthy coping skills to heal them.  One of the symptoms of abuse that I struggle with is outbursts of anger.  One coping skill I am learning to rely on to heal myself is gardening.  Gardening lifts me up from seas of sadness and calms me through storms of anger. Anger is one of the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Survivors of child abuse, sexual assault, and domestic violence often suffer from PTSD just as combat veterans do.  Anger is a normal part of the healing process, but if we inflict our anger on others, we can also ruin our relationships with friends and family and cause problems for ourselves at work and school.  While anger over abuse inspires us to fight for justice, we need to channel and control our anger so we don't harm ourselves or others. People who express ...