The Garden of Roses: Stories of Abuse and Healing

Sometimes you just have to sue the b#$%#@&^!.  You have simply suffered too much injustice, and nothing you do inspires the party who harmed you to do the right thing.  You have no other choice. I hate lawsuits.  I don’t like what lawyers do in general.  Only one lawyer donated $100 to my organization despite the fact that I have provided significant support to many of their survivors including survivors they have abandoned. So I have nothing to lose in criticizing lawyers and lawsuits.  Truthfully I feel a bit used by the lawyers whose clients I have helped.  I prefer mediation and mediators to lawyers and lawsuits.  I think our Retributive Jusitce system, which is based on finding the perpetrator and punishing them, is incredibly wounding to all sides.  Lawsuits are win/lose propositions, but the losing side often feels that justice has not been done and remains hurt and angry.  Whenever someone feels hurt and angry, conflict con...

Lydia Wakefield Hubbard lives at the Marshall Manor in NW Portland, but she is eager to travel and to speak.   She is only 80 years old after all and has an important message to share. Her message is that if we don’t talk about abuse, it continues.  If we don’t talk about abuse, we can’t heal.   Lydia was chronically sexually abused for by her father.  He began abusing her at age four  by taking her for a drive in his car.  He told her to never tell anyone what happened.  The next day she experienced pain and told her mother that she hurt in her “privates”.  Her mother examined her and called for help.  Her father blamed a distant relative.  The police came and started searching for the accused family member.  No one asked Lydia who had abused her, and she did not tell because her father told her not to.   Her father also abused the girl hired to help her mother around the house, but another victim did not stop Lyd...