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My Daughter's Dream Predicting the Future

Ten years of extreme conflict generated thousands of emails between my ex-husband and me and between me and the friends and mentors who helped me through those years.  I found this one email from November 2009, recounting a dream my daughter had.  I obviously edited names out.  I also changed one confusing sentence. Otherwise, the email is as I wrote it.  The truth is, we all had dreams that seemed to foreshadow the future. Date: Mon, November 16, 2009 8:39 am To: “C” 11/16/09 Dear “C” The kids didn't call Dad last night, and he didn't call them. This is  The second time, he didn't call them. We turned off the cell phone at  9 and the answering system, but not the ringer of the home phone at 9. I helped my daughter with her homework for 24 minutes, but she ended up  being very late and slow with her chores. She was rude to me when I  told her to hurry up, so I didn't snuggle with her as usual. In the morning, my daughter told me she had a d...

The Family Mental Health and Child Custody Act

  My Story or Why I Composed this Petition My name is Virginia. I endured generational child sex abuse trauma as a child and struggled with depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety for decades. I was a good student and graduated from college to become a wildlife and fisheries biologist, which improved my self-esteem. Permanent jobs in wildlife and fisheries eluded me, so I returned to college to become a Registered Nurse. My favorite job was as a psychiatric nurse. I married, had children, divorced, and then endured an 8-year child custody battle. I won the battle by obtaining court orders for specialized therapists to work with my family. I followed their advice, and they testified on my behalf in court, so the judge who presided over the custody battle awarded me 90% of my attorney’s fees. Then I realized I no longer suffered from depression or anxiety.  During the long years of that custody battle, I taught survivors of child sex abuse and domestic violence listening skil...

Chapter 5: Why Work on the Exercises in This Book? The Skills in this Book Helped Me Both Heal and Win My Court Case, Too

 This is from my book, How to Heal: A Workbook for Survivors by a Survivor Plus Tips for Documenting Abuse by V. Jones, available at https://www.amazon.ca/How-Heal-Workbook-Survivors-Documenting/dp/B0GMQBP8R8. Please note that my ideas are based in part on the advice given to me by therapists as well as my own experiences. Some of the conventional wisdom about high-conflict child custody battles is not so much wrong as incomplete. Extreme conflict during divorce and child custody battles like I went through is uncommon, but it is more common when child sex abuse and domestic violence are involved. The current legal system is inadequate for this problem and often makes it worse. I disagree with both protective mothers and father's rights/parental alienation advocates. The focus of high-conflict divorce needs to be on mental health support for children and parents and examining which parent works harder on their mental health and supporting their children's mental health, not fo...

Chapter 1: What is Generational Trauma?

 This is from my book, How to Heal: A Workbook for Survivors by a Survivor Plus Tips for Documenting Abuse by V. Jones, available at https://www.amazon.ca/How-Heal-Workbook-Survivors-Documenting/dp/B0GMQBP8R8. Please note that my ideas are based in part on the advice given to me by therapists as well as my own experiences. Some of the conventional wisdom about high-conflict child custody battles is not so much wrong as incomplete. Extreme conflict during divorce and child custody battles like I went through is uncommon, but it is more common when child sex abuse and domestic violence are involved. The current legal system is inadequate for this problem and often makes it worse. I disagree with both protective mothers and father's rights/parental alienation advocates. The focus of high-conflict divorce needs to be on mental health support for children and parents and examining which parent works harder on their mental health and supporting their children's mental health, not fo...