Notes on Coercive Control From Articles on the Internet

 (See the article citations at the bottom.)

1. Examples can include telling a child to leave, or worse, to get out of your face; calling him names; telling the child that he is worthless; making a child the family scapegoat; or blaming him for family/sibling problems. Refusing to talk to or hold a young child as he grows can also be considered abusive behavior.

harsh criticism, belittling, labeling

name-calling

yelling, screaming or swearing at children

humiliation or demeaning jokes

teasing about a child's mental capabilities or physical appearance

refusing love, attention and touch

physical or emotional abandonment

shunning the child from the family altogether

kicking teens out of the home

locking kids out of the home to discipline or punish

2. Ignoring

Adults who have had few of their emotional needs met are often unable to respond to the needs of their children. They may not show attachment to the child or provide positive nurturing. They may show no interest in the child, or withhold affection or even fail to recognize the child's presence. Many times the parent is physically there but emotionally unavailable. Failing to respond to or consistently interact with your child constitutes emotional and psychological abuse.

inconsistent or no response to a child's invitations to connect 

failure to attend to an infants physical, social or emotional needs

refusing to acknowledge a child's interests, activities, schooling, peers, etc.

abandonment or refusing to acknowledge child as your own

denying medical or health care, and safe, clean environments

inability or failure to engage a child emotionally or protect a child from harm 

3. Terrorizing

Parents who use threats, yelling and cursing are doing serious psychological damage to their children. Singling out one child to criticize and punish or ridiculing her for displaying normal emotions is abusive. Threatening a child with harsh words, physical harm, abandonment, or, in extreme cases, death is unacceptable. Even in jest, causing a child to be terrified by the use of threats and/or intimidating behavior is some of the worst emotional abuse. This includes witnessing, hearing, or knowing that violence is taking place in the home.

excessive teasing, screaming, cursing, raging at a child

threatening or intimidating behaviors - scaring a child or others in front of a child

unpredictable, unreasonable, or extreme reactions

verbal threats to harm the child, self, or others

hostility among family members 

inconsistent or unreasonable demands placed on a child

ridiculing or humiliating a child in front of others

threatening to reveal personal or embarrassing information 

Children and youth who witness family violence experience all six types of emotional abuse. 2

A 1995 telephone survey suggested that by the time a child was 2 years old, 90% of families had used one or more forms of psychological aggression in the previous 12 months. 3

4. Isolating

A parent who abuses a child through isolation may not allow the child to engage in appropriate activities with his or her peers; may keep a baby in his or her room, unexposed to stimulation; or may prevent teenagers from participating in extracurricular activities. Requiring a child to stay in his or her room from the time school lets out until the next morning, restricting eating, or forcing a child to isolation or seclusion by keeping her away from family and friends can be destructive and considered emotional abuse depending on the circumstances and severity.

leaving a child alone or unattended for long periods of time

not permitting a child to interact with other children or maintain friendships

keeping a child from appropriate social and emotional stimulation

requiring a child to stay indoors/in their room or away from peers

keeping a child from playing with friends and activities s/he enjoys

not permitting a child to participate in social activities, parties or group/family events 

excessive or extreme punishment for typical childhood behaviors

encouraging a child to reject friends or social contact/invitations

5. Corrupting

Parents who corrupt may permit children to use drugs or alcohol, watch cruel behavior toward animals, watch or look at inappropriate sexual content, or witness or participate in criminal activities such as stealing, assault, prostitution, gambling, etc. Encouraging an underage child to do things that are illegal or harmful is abusive and should be reported.

encouraging or rewarding unethical or illegal behavior (drugs, stealing, cheating, lying, bullying)

promoting or rewarding promiscuity

giving a child or using in the presence of a child: drugs, alcohol, and other illegal substances

allowing or encouraging children to engage in behavior that is harmful to the self or others.

6. Exploiting

Exploitation can be considered manipulation or forced activity without regard for a child's need for development. For instance, repeatedly asking an eight-year-old to be responsible for the family's dinner is inappropriate. Giving a child responsibilities that are greater than a child of that age can handle or using a child for profit is abusive.

having expectations beyond the developmental stage of the child 

forcing a child to participate in unwanted activities without just cause

requiring a child to care for a parent or siblings without regard for the child's age or ability

using blame, shame, judgment, or guilt to condemn a child for the behavior of others (parents/peers/siblings)

unreasonable expectations to perform chores or household duties

exposing a child to sexually abusive or inappropriate content 

Sources—Please understand that these sources are from 2019 and may not be available on the internet now.

1. Understanding the Six Forms of Emotional Abuse, Oliver Tuthill, Autumn Tree Productions, 1998 http://www.worldcat.org/title/understanding-the-six-forms-of-emotional-child-abuse/oclc/43980174

2. The Effects of Child Abuse and Exposure to Domestic Violence on Adolescent Internalizing and Externalizing Behavior Problems, Carrie A. Moylan, Todd I. Herrenkohl, Cindy Sousa et al. Journal of Family Violence. 2010 January; 25(1): 53–63. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2872483/

3. Straus MA, Field C. Psychological Aggression By American Parents: National Data on Prevalence, Chronicity, and Severity. Washington, DC: American Sociological Association; 2000. http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CTS27.pdf

4. Psychological child maltreatment. A developmental view. Garbarino J. Erikson Institute for Advanced Study in Child Development, Chicago, Illinois. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8356153

5. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1022613/Its-heresy-say-having-step-parent-wreck-childs-life.html 2/12/19

6. https://www.scarymommy.com/how-emotional-abuse-impacts-adults/

7. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/apr/18/my-cruel-stepmother-emotional-physical-abuse

8. https://www.quora.com/How-is-the-emotional-abuse-from-a-step-parent-different-than-the-emotional-abuse-from-a-biological-parent-Is-it-considered-worse-if-there-is-no-contact-with-the-biological-parent-e-g-step-dad-is-the-only-father

7. https://www.drphil.com/shows/2095/

8. https://www.teach-through-love.com/types-of-emotional-abuse.html

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